Prince Caspian?

I don’t pretend to be a movie critic. I’m not even a big movie fan. I’d rather read a book. But there are some exceptions, like To Kill a Mockingbird. Gregory Peck was the perfect Atticus, and there was little not to like in the movie.

Having read Prince Caspian (and all of Narnia) numerous times (say 15?) since I was twelve years old, the bar for me is admittedly pretty high. Overall, I liked The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, and thought Adamson did a reasonably good job with it. So I was cautiously optimistic about Prince Caspian. I really wanted to like it. I did. Honest.

There were a few things that I really liked:

The river god was cool, very cool.

The trees “waded” through the earth admirably.

The scenery was awesome.

The last line was accurate: “I’ve left my new torch in Narnia!”

(Deep breath here) Now, with apologies to my friends who liked the movie, here a few of my many (to put it mildly) disappointments:

The very cool river god was never explained at all. If you hadn’t read the book, what in the world were you to make of that whole thing?

Reepicheep as a thinly veiled Puss-in-Boots from Shrek…Reep deserved better.

Aslan as a totally absent and detached diety (can’t even say Christ-figure), who has to be fetched by Lucy -- as opposed to followed by Lucy, as Lewis wrote it.

Peter as a sullen, angst-ridden, obnoxious teenager.

Caspian as a sullen, angst-ridden, obnoxious teenager.

Susan as a pouty heroine with a come-hither look, who would NEVER have actually been allowed to fight in a battle by Lewis, only to lead the archers, away from the fray. Lewis didn’t subscribe to the idea of women in battle. In The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Father Christmas says as much, “…battles are ugly when women fight.” That line, of course, was axed in the first movie.

Trumpkin never did bow and truly submit himself to the Lion, he just gave Aslan a surly and half-hearted look. Trumpkin…one of the most noble characters in the book…where was he? In the book, Trumpkin was Chesterton’s “jolly atheist”…you couldn’t help but love him. Volunteering for a mission which he believed to be in vain, Trumpkin stoutly answered Caspian’s inquiry as to why he was willing to go and look for the expected help from the high past when he didn’t even believe the old stories: “No more I do, Your Majesty. But what’s that got to do with it? I might as well die on a wild goose chase as die here. You are my King. I know the difference between giving advice and taking orders. You’ve had my advice, and now it’s time for orders.” A noble fellow…nothing like the snide and surly character I saw on the screen yesterday. Trumpkin without “Cobbles and kettledrums!” , “Thimbles and thunderstorms!”, “Wraiths and wreckage!”, “Crows and crockery!”??? Only heard one “bedknobs and broomsticks!” or some such…the kids said he did say that same line one more time but I must have missed it.

Worse still, where was the real Caspian, the boy king in whom the old nurse and Dr. Cornelius instilled a love of the truth and the “old things” by telling him the stories of old Narnia, giving Caspian a sense of mission, and giving him the authenticity to make the old Narnians trust him and recognize him as Aslan’s chosen deliverer and rightful ruler? In the movie, I couldn’t help but wonder why in the world the old Narnians would trust such a jerk.

I was fairly certain one of my favorite lines from the book would be left out, but nonetheless, was disappointed to find it gone. Aslan to Prince Caspian, after Caspian voices his shame on learning that he is descended from a race of pirates: "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

My overall impression is that this movie succeeded admirably in being just what Lewis repeatedly criticized in his essays on literature -- a postmodern retooling of the author’s story, thinly veiled chronological snobbery: ”We know oh so much better than Lewis could how to “reach” teens and tweens…our new ways are so much better than your old fashioned ways.”

My teens’ and young adults’ descriptions of this movie mostly involved the word “lame”.

And all of us, quite crestfallen.